Like many roads in Chicago, the one outside my apartment is getting redone, and like many streets, it did not appear to need it much. Luckily enough it is a side street and construction is passing (at least by Chicago standards) quickly and painlessly. On Friday they reached the stage of laying down the new asphalt featuring a road crew of about ten men and two trucks. The typical large gray truck resembling a gravel truck, complete with a raising cargo load, had the job of pouring the black cement while the steam roller followed behind smoothing the tar over the road and flatting the road.
My experience with road construction was always primarily as a motorist, so when the opportunity arose to watch from my living room window I took it. And luckily for me, it took only two minutes before comedy ultimately ensued.
At this point in the paving process the gray truck had elevated its load to pour more cement, but too much poured out. For a solid minute the foreman shouted indistinguishable words but shortly after I’m able to make out his rant. He is in the middle of a particularly well executed tongue-lashing against the driver. Apparently the overflow resulted in the driver having been on a cell phone, earning him many shouts of, “you’re killing me” from the foreman and my personal favorite, “No telephones! Lay off the phone and drive the truck!”
At this point I was laughing as well as taking cover and Lando, (my kitten) sat on the window sill, transfixed though with the hair standing up on her back. I’ve noticed that every time something like this happens I have the same response; first, primarily I’m afraid that something will shoot through my window injuring me, and secondly I am eager to know how the story will progress. Now luckily I have never had anything thrown near or at me, but I am still convinced that whenever an argument on the street occurs that it will escalate like an episode of Law & Order and I’ll have to call the police. And yes, I do watch copious amounts of TV and it does not help that I study psychology and memorize all the good studies about how horrible people can be, but I am unable to sit at my window with a bowl of popcorn laughing hysterically at the small scene bellow. Lando is even on edge at this though I think she doesn’t like road construction more then anything else. After a surly, “Get a move on!” and other equally charming instructions the trucks moved down the street and I no longer feared a stray rock or power tool coming through my window. I still wonder though what he was talking on the phone with and whether or not I’ll see this as a Jimmy Johns commercial soon.
Sharing your sleeping space with strangers is one thing, especially when those strangers like to heat up curried Indian food at 3 a.m. and incessantly hum Paramore painfully off key through the night (I mean, REALLY. I thought you were a Music major?!). But sharing your showering space? Forget disgusting; the thought itself is legitimately gag-worthy. I may or may not have just regurgitated in my mouth a little.
Believe me when I tell you that it is not hard to die from the horrible things you’re forcefully exposed to in a communal bathroom. Lucky for you, I’m great at not contracting diseases that swim around in public shower stalls. And even luckier for you, I’m willing to share my survival tips. Take my advice and you might not die from a communal bathroom (I offer no guarantees).
1. Wear shower shoes. These are vital in not dying. Your standard Old Navy flip-flops will do, although the green ones are especially effective in preventing infection. Ditching the sandals is essentially a death wish; your bare feet will actually be able to feel the H1N1 creeping under your toenails. Not a fun event.
2. Don’t let anything touch the ground. A communal bathroom floor gets mopped in vomit several times every weekend; do you really want to risk trusting the 5 second rule on your toothbrush under these circumstances? No is generally the acceptable answer to this.
3. Use your foot to flush the toilet. Hopefully this is not a foreign concept. There’s really not much more I wish to elaborate on for this one. Just please don’t use your fingers to jiggle the handle. Your leprosy-free palms will thank you later.
4. Make it snappy. In and out; this is not the place to discuss with the girls down the hall which boys from philosophy class you’d prefer getting with this weekend. The more time spent in the shared restroom, the more time airborne viruses have to manifest themselves in your orifices.
5. Avoid them at all costs. Communal bathrooms should only be used for their intended purposes and only in extreme emergencies. Hair and makeup can easily be taken care of in your room. When you do need to use a toilet/shower, the public restroom should be a last resort. A good example: if you have to pee before you go out to dinner, hold it until the restaurant. Chances are good that the facilities there have a much lower death rate.
6.For the over achiever: Don’t use them at all. Making your own makeshift dorm room toilet is a great way to avoid contracting the bacterial infections populating communal washrooms. This alternative is far more sanitary than public bathroom stalls. Skipping showering altogether will also keep you cleaner than any community shower stall ever could. Just compare my roommate and I; you’ll smell the difference.
At DePaul University, we are on the much controversial “trimester system”. Each course is squeezed into a grueling 10 weeks, with an unnecessarily long 6-week winter break from Thanksgiving until well after New Years Day. For reasons no student quite understands, “midterm week” diverges into “midterm 3 weeks” and finals week becomes “finals two weeks”. You do the math. The middle of the term is the 5th week, and if finals begin the 8th week, while midterms are still being administered = nothing short of hell. It is typically around this eighth week of the term that students lose the will to live and “FML” Facebook statuses become prevalent and emphatically “liked”.
During this phase of hell, there is an inverse relationship between the amount of sleep obtained and the amount of Starbucks consumed. It appears to be a losing battle for the infantry of sleep. Since students cannot seem to access a syringe capable of injecting Mountain Dew or Monster Energy Drinks, many students settle for caffeine pills and for the more hardcore, Adderall. The complete lack of sleep and the sheer amount of caffeine pumped into their listless bodies transforms seemingly harmless students into a zombie-like state.
If you, dear reader, are concerned that you may have unknowingly become a zombie, here are a few telltale signs. The hallmark signs of a zombie include incessant Facebooking, Youtubing, or Tweeting in an attempt to avoid the treacherous cave of homework doom. In this delusional, zombie state, even mundane and otherwise painful chores such as cleaning your toilet or paying your bills appear preferable to studying. Even zombies who were previously very health conscious begin to crave greasy, fast food (particularly pizza and McDonalds). If you, dear reader, are still unsure as to whether or not you are in fact, a zombie, there is one foolproof test. Look into the closest mirror or shiny surface and if you see dark, monstrous bags under your eyes and/or a stress induced break out, you, my friend, have undoubtedly joined the zombie horde.
Don’t be deceived by their charismatic demeanor and collegiate and/ or Pink University gear- zombie students are particularly vicious. Because misery loves company, these bloodthirsty zombies will bite your throat at a moment’s notice. The side effects are swift and staggering – immediate cattiness and extreme agitation (and that’s if you are lucky). Tempers run short and when push comes to shove, a Darwinian “every man for himself” attitude is adopted. The consequences? Fights, melodrama, and the ultimate rupture of countless friendships and relationships. Exams, stress, and tension are inevitable facts of life and are unfortunately unavoidable. My advice is to merely avoid these insidious zombies and if need be- barricade yourself in your bedroom.
College costs over $100,000 in many cases–and sometimes final college costs hover near the $200,000 mark. So, most people apply for financial aid via FAFSA and/or the CSS Profile. Anyone who has gone through this process will tell you it’s frustrating, and some will tell you it’s not fair. Kiplinger’s had an article about “11 Student-Aid Traps to Avoid.” If you’ve never filled one of these babies out, then this article is a must-read. You shouldn’t LIE, per se, on your financial aid apps, but be aware that your answers will affect the aid decision. And your financial aid decision will affect you for potentially the next 20 years… Just sayin’.
One thing you should know is that you might feel screwed if you’re a member of the middle class. You’ll get over it after the 5 stages of grief have passed. What will frustrate many of you is that you’re considered a dependent of your parents until you’re 24.
Let’s take a look at a hypothetical example of how this can make you resentful for the first few years of your adult life. Let’s say that your parents make $200,000+ per year, own all sorts of real estate, and–for all intents and purposes–are shoveling money. You still apply for financial aid because you’re trying to be a good son, and you don’t get a dime of aid in the process. You still work throughout college, because you feel bad about your rich parents paying $50,000 per year for college. Then after 4 years you decide you no longer want to go to medical school and you completely change majors, because you realize you have a passion for Psychology (Read: saving lives, helping others, etc.). Mom and Dad get pissed off, say they won’t “waste” any money on a Psychology degree, and you’re stuck footing the bill for the last year of school, which is still $50,000, because you’re a dependent according to the Department of Education. Yup yup, I would HATE to be in that person’s shoes. Wait a sec… oh crap. Time to go pawn my watch so I can pay for the first 15 minutes of Psych 345 next quarter.
RealCollegeTour.com is happy to announce that we’re sponsoring another event in Chicago. The We Are One Foundation is holding an event called “We Are One Rocks La Grange” on November 15th from 5pm – 8pm. The night will include dinner, entertainment from a local high school band (Von Chalant) and a silent auction… All in an effort to fight teen substance abuse.
If you have 1000+ friends on your facebook and/or a ton of followers on twitter, we’ll pay you to promote us to your friends. You’ll get $20 for literally 3 minutes of work.
On October 25th, Matt Gabrys, founder of RealCollegeTour.com, was invited to judge in a singing audition for twin rockers Rock Star & Super Star. The Star Brothers are putting the finishing touches on their debut album titled “Serenity,” which features members from KISS, Heart, the Goo Goo Dolls, and others. The purpose of the album is to raise awareness to teen substance abuse and they hope “Serenity” will be used as a tool in the battle against drug & alcohol abuse. They saved one track on the album for a high school student from the Chicago area who has the right voice and who has enthusiasm for the mission of We Are One.
As you can see, there was a lot of great talent that came out to the audition. A portion of all sales at RealCollegeTour.com goes to support the We Are One Foundation’s programs. So, we’re not kidding when we say our college reviews help keep kids out of trouble!
Confirming everything that we already know here at RealCollegeTour.com, The Beast interviewed college admissions counselors from across the country and the reporter found that there are various tips and tricks to increasing your chances of getting in. Not only that, but admissions officers are very arbitrary when making decision:
While you’re anxiously mailing off those college applications this week, you might want to recalibrate your expectations based on your race, your wealth, and whether the NFL team in the city where that college is located is on a losing streak. The shadowy world of college admissions has left millions of confused and frustrated rejects in its wake.
Not only are admissions people arbitrary in their decision processes, they also can be major douchebags:
One night, I got food poisoning at a restaurant in Buffalo. The next day, I rejected all the Buffalo applications.
This article is a great read, and you should read the entire thing. All of our college reviews have a special section devoted solely to Admissions at that particular school. We’ll give you tips from students that got in, and trust us, they know things you DON’T. There are all sorts of tips and tricks on admissions that we estimate our guides will increase your chances of getting in by about 50%.
Social networks have been consuming high school and college students for a few new years now. Well, now colleges are starting official facebook pages and school-sanctioned twitter accounts. WBBM 780 Chicago reports:
IU ranks sixth for its number of university-affiliated Twitter accounts, fourth for number of Twitter followers and eighth for total “tweets” per day.
IU had 16 Twitter accounts, compared with seven at Purdue University.
We think that the tweets from Indiana University look something like this:
@iustudents sorry every1!!! we’re raising tuition by 7.3% :’( #screwingcollegestudents
@professors just got paid! Faculty Foam Party at the Four Seasons Friday
